Nedostaješ mi: why the one who misses is not the one missing
Serbian tells about feelings from the wrong side. English makes the feeler the subject — "I miss you", "I like it", "I am ashamed". Serbian more often makes the cause of the feeling the subject and pushes the person into the to-case or the whom-case. A word-for-word translation is impossible here: you get a sentence nobody understands. For example: “Недостајеш ми откад си се одселила” — I have missed you since you…
How it works
Serbian tells about feelings from the wrong side. English makes the feeler the subject — "I miss you", "I like it", "I am ashamed". Serbian more often makes the cause of the feeling the subject and pushes the person into the to-case or the whom-case. A word-for-word translation is impossible here: you get a sentence nobody understands.
The model is Nedostaješ mi. Literally "you are missing to me": the subject is YOU, the one who is missed, and the verb agrees with you. So "I miss you" is Nedostaješ mi, while "you miss me" is Nedostajem ti. Mixing up these two is the classic first-year error, and it flips the meaning to its opposite.
Built the same way: Sviđa mi se — I like it ("it pleases to-me"), Prija mi — it feels good to me, Dojadilo mi je, Dosadilo mi je — I am fed up, Žao mi je — I am sorry, Lakše mi je — I feel better. In all of them the person stands in the to-case: mi, ti, mu, joj, nam.
Separately — the gang with the whom-case instead. Sramota me je — I am ashamed, Strah me je — I am scared, Mrzi me — I cannot be bothered, Boli me — it hurts. Here the person is the object: me, te, ga, je, nas. The split between the two gangs has to be kept as a list; the clue is that sramota, strah and muka are noun-states that "grab" the person as their object.
And the third gang, the ordinary one with the feeler as subject: ponosim se tobom — I am proud of you, radujem se, ljutim se, bojim se. These are the easy ones: they behave the way you expect, only with se.
Table
| the phrase | the person's case | the subject | in English |
|---|---|---|---|
| nedostaješ mi | to-case | you | I miss you |
| sviđa mi se | to-case | it | I like it |
| dosadilo mi je | to-case | it | I am fed up |
| žao mi ga je | to-case + whom-case | no person | I feel sorry for him |
| sramota me je | whom-case | no person | I am ashamed |
| strah me je | whom-case | no person | I am scared |
| mrzi me | whom-case | no person | I cannot be bothered |
| ponosim se | the person is the subject | I | I am proud |
By example
- Недостајеш ми откад си се одселилаNedostaješ mi otkad si se odselilaI have missed you since you moved out
- Срамота ме је што сам заборавио да се јавимSramota me je što sam zaboravio da se javimI am ashamed I forgot to get in touch
- Свиђа ми се како се понаша према дециSviđa mi se kako se ponaša prema deciI like the way he behaves with children
How the rule settles in your head
A rule is not memorized from an explanation. It is memorized from an attempt to use it and a mistake — that is why the app delivers it mixed in with words, not as a separate lesson: it resurfaces exactly where you forgot it.
Frequently asked
Nedostaješ mi: how does it work in Serbian?
Serbian tells about feelings from the wrong side. English makes the feeler the subject — "I miss you", "I like it", "I am ashamed". Serbian more often makes the cause of the feeling the subject and pushes the person into the to-case or the whom-case. A word-for-word translation is impossible here…
What does it look like in an example sentence Serbian?
“Недостајеш ми откад си се одселила” (Nedostaješ mi otkad si se odselila) — I have missed you since you moved out. A rule is easier to test on sentences like this than to memorize as a wording: what surfaces in conversation is the sentence.